Beautiful
by aroseofmanyleaves
Summary: 'River, why is there a cow in my TARDIS'      The Doctor tells River, for the first time, that he thinks she is beautiful. Also, a cow and some sheep make an appearance.


Have I ever found the time to tell you how beautiful I think you are? How I think the whole room just stops and stares and can't even begin to consider looking away when you come into a room? The way you purse your lips in that seductive, enthralling way when you want me to kiss you. They way you laugh and try to hide it when you're upset just to protect me. Because you are beautiful, in mind, body and soul.

You're recklessly confident. Your hair is a wild mess of radiant honeysuckle curls. Your lips are so irresistible that when I look at them, by God, it takes every inch of willpower to stop myself from swooping down and pressing my own against them. Your amazing azure eyes are on the verge of being almost hypnotic, and I feel like I'm drowning every single time I look into them. You're completely impossible to manage and watch over and you exhaust me, but I love you for it. I love _you_. I never said it before, I never even told you how beautiful you are. And you are River Song, an impossible, enticing, mad, _mad_ woman who is so beautiful that I just cannot see how I have never seen it before.

You have flaws, like everyone else. You refuse to take advice, you keep shooting things (especially my hats!), you're a big gossip and not to mention an _archaeologist_. You talk so much, but you never really say anything. But I love you even more for having them than I would if they weren't there. Because everyone had imperfections, and yours are beautiful. And you admit to having them, which makes you ever more special and genuine.

You put up with everything I say. The times when I yell and insult you, I _know_ how much it hurts you, but you just take it. That time when I glared so hard and intently and viciously whispered at you and you shed a tear (don't deny it Miss Song, I saw it). That time when you kissed me for the first time and I just left straight afterwards. But you're so amazing that every single time I screw up, you find a way to forgive me. For that, for every single time I've broken your heart, I think I can find the courage to tell you that you're beautiful. Not just to me, but to every person who has ever been lucky enough to cast eyes upon you.

Do you remember that day, oh, you were only, what, eighteen? And you lied to me, told me you were twenty two just so I would think we were at the right time, so I would kiss you. And the time when you first met me and I kidnapped you from the regency ball? The first time you managed to fly the TARDIS without me? I was so proud of you that, when you weren't looking, I cried. The first time you sang my Gallifreyan lullaby, you sang it so enchantingly and perfectly. I'm afraid I can't tell you about the first time I met you (spoilers!), but I hold the day in reverence in my mind because you were so incredible and spectacular that I would never be able to begin to put it dutifully into words. That day was the first time I ever noticed how beautiful you were.

Amazing, brave, courageous, delightful, energetic, fun, gorgeous, hot, intelligent, jovial, kick-ass, loving, magnificent, natural, oxygen-starving (I've had rather a few of your kisses and only just lived to tell the tale), perfect, quick-witted, ravishing, stunning, troublemaking, unique, vivacious, wonderful, xenodochial, yowza (don't make fun) and zealous. And that's just alphabetically; I'll do it chronologically some other time.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm thinking and writing this. I think it's because of the way you looked this morning when you stormed into the TARDIS in your nightgown and slippers.

'_So you came back then?' she questioned furiously, her eyes scanning him up and down. He stared at her in bemusement; her face was red and angry and her eyes were bloodshot. What the hell had he done to make her cry?_

I never take the time to say 'well done' or 'nice job', let alone to compliment and tell you how amazing I think you are. Like in the Byzantium, when I said I could kiss you, I honestly would have run at you and stolen your lips so quickly even you would have been surprised at it, had Amy not been there. Companions, eh?

But after and during our time in Utah, that's when everything began to change for us. When you slapped me with such vehemence that I really thought you were going to rip my face off, I realized I had done something bad. And then, when you said you were a screamer, I didn't understand at first. But later on, I asked Amy and she told me, through actual choking giggles, what you meant; which was very embarrassing. The way you threw yourself off the building, knowing I would be there to save you. I wish I could only trust someone else half as much as you trust me.

I always knew you were independent and resilient, but what surprised me was the fact you made me feel like I was needed, even when you could have managed perfectly well without me. You, of course would deny this, saying you always need me, but I am so proud of you River that you are so capable of doing anything. And there's another reason why I think you're beautiful.

X-X-X

He finished the page there and laid down the pen that had been spilling ink all over her fist. He stared down and read the strange, unintelligible symbols that he had scribed down. He had written it, knowing that right now, she wouldn't be able to read it. He found strange tears rising in and clouding his vision. It was all so true. He was just too afraid to say it. He didn't know why. He didn't think he ever would know. Or, more likely, he could never find the courage to try and find out. He was a stupid man, he thought, hiding behind actions of cowardice and words and flirts and little meaning because he was too afraid to tell her she was beautiful. He could face billions of Daleks, hoards of Cybermen, a planet full of Silence, but he couldn't find the right way to tell her.

Sighing, he folded the paper into quarters and put it inside one of his many pockets. He headed towards the console room, where River was currently flying the TARDIS…

X-X-X

'Urm, River, you've got a bit of milkshake there,' he commented, pointing awkwardly at her top lip which was coated in strawberry milk, diverting his gaze. She blushed and wiped her upper lips, growling at him all the while. Her curls were springing all over her face and she brushed them away, annoyed. He tried to smile at her, but she narrowed her eyebrows in disgust at him, she was evidently still angry about something he hadn't done yet.

'River, can I ask you something?' he mumbled almost inaudibly.

'Yes, but I probably won't answer it,' she replied shortly and curtly, before turning back to the console, pressing random buttons and pulling the odd lever here and there.

Plucking up some courage he didn't know he had, The Doctor tentatively asked, 'Why were you so upset when you came in this morning?'

She looked hard at him, scrutinizing him and he felt like he was being gazed at under a microscope. She breathed out heavily and obviously, 'You stayed over last night and when I woke up this morning, you weren't there anymore. You just left without saying anything,' she whispered to him when he came bounding over to her. He had never seen her look so defenceless and vulnerable before.

'Oh River, I'm so sorry,' he replied soothingly, pulling her into a fierce embrace from which she had no way of fighting her way out of. She felt slightly comforted and wrapped her arms around his waist, and laid her head on his chest. But something was poking into her shoulder blade, rather uncomfortably, like a piece of paper jabbing into her flesh.

She pulled away from him and, before he could stop her, she yanked the paper visibly showing from inside his jacket and began reading it.

He looked in terror as he saw her scanning the text and a sudden thought popped in the back of his head. He had presumed wrong, she could read Gallifreyan _right now_. Whoops.

She walked around the TARDIS, slapping away his hand when he attempted to rip the paper from her clutches. At one point she even put her finger to his lips, still reading the paper, never deterring it from her sight, and told him to 'shush' because she was reading. Her eyes flew over the paper, sucking in and absorbing every word, her negative expression slowly turning more positive, tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. When she finally finished, she looked up at him, looking scared and the slightest bit fragile.

'Doc-doctor. Do you really mean t-this?' she questioned shakily, determined not to let her hope for his reaction show.

And for the first time in his life, The Doctor did not gloss over the awkward parts and he said, taking her hands in his own, 'River Song, I mean every single thing I wrote. You are so beautiful.'

The corners of her mouth flickered upwards into a tearful grin and she leant in steadily and kissed him, standing on tip toes all the time.

_Mooooo._

Sheepishly, The Doctor pulled away River and looked to the left and from thereon, he became very, _very_ confused.

'River, why is there a cow on my TARDIS?'

'Oh, I found the stable. There's a couple of sheep as well. I think there's a duck somewhere too...' she trailed off, waving her hand dismissively at the large, black and white mammal just standing in the corner of the TARDIS, amidst a group of very woolly sheep.

'I have a stable? There's a stable on the TARDIS?'

She smiled at him knowingly and winked, 'Spoilers.'


End file.
